being busy is NOT always good

Merry Monday!!! Hope your weekend was superb!! Mine was pretty fantastic! I’ll tell you about it now….

Jacob and I went on a marriage retreat. It’s called “A Weekend to Remember”. It was FABULOUS!! We were a little apprehensive at first because when I think marriage retreat I think about a lot of old people, being mushy gushy and lots of talk about LOVE.  Well… this retreat was really about MARRIAGE… and all the stuff that comes with it!!! If you are married… GO to the conference!! if you think you don’t need it… you DEFINITELY need to go!!! Here we are being all lovey… going to our retreat:

I’ll explain what we learned in a bit… just hold your horses! I know you are PUMPED! 

Saturday night is DATE NIGHT at the retreat (wink wink nudge nudge).  So… We decided to go bowling and then out to eat!! We love bowling! Fun fact: When we were in high school, Jacob and I were in a bowling league!! haha! Jacob had his own bag, ball, shoes, and gloves.  Guess what? I beat him every time!! haha! He does this fancy, fast, rounding throw of the ball.  I kind of stumble up to the lane and throw it straight.  I remind myself of Fred Flinestone! But… I always beat him.  My highest score, NO LIE, was a 215. (For those of you who don’t know… the highest possible is 300!). Anyways… bowling is near and dear to our hearts! Here is my hubs bowling:

Please note how romantic it is… there are 500 children. Both sides of us were using bumpers and the metal ball roller things. One kid cheered and high-fived us after every turn.  Quite the romantic get-a-way!!! πŸ™‚

And yes… I beat him!!!! 

After the epic bowling experience we headed to Outback (we had a gift card… woo hoo!). We talked about our take-aways from the weekend and what we wanted to see our marriage become. And we ate the most amazing thing ever (I did NOT count calories on Saturday!). This masterpiece you see below is warm chocolate waffles, chocolate syrup, oreos, whip cream, and ice cream! WHAT!?!?!?!? It was SO tasty! 

Makes your mouth water doesn’t it? Oh yeah! 

So… marriage. It’s not like the movies (can I get an amen? ha) In MANY ways it’s SO much better (when it’s founded on Christ), and in other ways it takes a lot more work than Hollywood lets on. I learned a lot this weekend… about me. Many times I like to sugar coat myself and think that it’s OTHER people that need to CHANGE (scary word)… and not ME.  But… let me tell you.. it’s me! πŸ™‚ 

I am learning that busy-ness is not always good. I have to and WANT to invest intentional time into my marriage. I so often (as I always have) fill up every minute of every day with activity and events and people… and don’t have US time with my hubby. Our marriage is more important than ANY other earthly relationship. I know that and love that… but it’s hard to apply it to everyday life when you love Bible study girls, work peeps, family, and friends!! My husband has to come first!!! If you are married… spend intentional, unhindered, unhurried, undistracted time with your husband.  That is so important. And it influences EVERY area of your lives together – happiness, sex, work, EVERYTHING! 

Transparency in talking is SO key.  Our conversation has always been deep – we love talking about Christ, the church, issues in life, blah blah… but total transparency is tough for me.  As I have said before, I have a lot of walls… and to tell someone all of my faults, shame, struggles, and thoughts (even when I know it is so good and necessary)… it’s tough. I close up. I hide. I cover it up. I sugar coat. I was open this weekend with my husband… and I am free of a lot of stuff. I haven’t done anything crazy so don’t get that in your head. There’s just some baggage and bondage that I have that I needed to be freed from. I confessed and exposed. I am letting Jesus work in them and letting my hubby encourage me through them. BREAK DOWN WALLS in your own life!! It’s tough and painful at times… it calls for some vulnerability… it may cause some tears… but… oh… it’s so good to have Jesus and your husband embrace you with love and understanding and victory. 

One thing that was talked about was that our marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church. DUH! Marriage 101.  But… our marriage is to REFLECT the image and character of God!!!! Wow! I haven’t thought about it like that! Does our marriage, in its entirety, reflect the character of God? In some areas, it doesn’t. I want it to! We want it to! We want our marriage to fully reflect the glory, love, hope, truth, intimacy, endurance, prayerfulness, peace, … of God!!! 

One more thing – I have been learning about submission. I don’t like that word. I like the words TRUST WHOLLY better. Meaning.. I need to trust Jacob whole heartedly because I know he’s following hard after Jesus. If he tells me that he feels that we need to pick up and move to Brazil tomorrow… I need to be okay with that and trust him and his leadership in our family.  Most of the time… I like to be in control! That’s not what my role is. If I ask for advice or he feels God is teaching him something about us… my role is to listen and apply.  When I see that… and I see my obedience to that… I see the reflection of Christ and the Church. 

We learned a lot more that you don’t need to know unless you are in our marriage… and you aren’t… because that would be awkward. And no… we didn’t need a marriage retreat or someone telling us about marriage to figure things out. But it was so great to have time to just focus on US, on our marriage, and what Christ has called us to be. 

Marriage is good. I love living life with my best friend, leader, encourager, truth-speaker, and more. I love running after Christ together.
Go enjoy being married if you are married. If you are single, take it from Paul… stay single. πŸ™‚ 

Whew… that was a lot of vomit. 

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