From February through June, I have been on a journey of being humbled. My ugly heart struggles with pride and fear, and I have been on an adventure (that’s not over yet) of the Lord humbling me. It hasn’t been comfortable at times. I haven’t known how to process things, apply them, or share them.
My humbling has come in many different avenues…
Being so hot I can’t even breath… pregnant… on an air matress… no relief…
Seeing a man named Jose get a working shower and toilet in his home because a team worked tirelessly (and creatively) to make it happen
Cleaning up poop/pee paper from bathroom trash cans (can’t throw it in the toilet in Costa Rica)
Learning how to pray by seeing it done in entirely new ways (new ways to me)
Having to change the schedule 4,000 times to my teams because the pastor changes his mind… but I just look stupid and unorganized
Literally seeing HOPE and LIGHT fill the places my teams went… watching JOY come to life in lifeless places
Having to give up some of my independent/stubborn ways because I’m pregnant… and I just want to be selfish
Knowing I need other people… desparately
Seeing a lady named Esperanza pick out paint colors for her home for the first time ever… knowing that I just did the same thing with no gratitude or thought about it
Not having words to say when a Costa Rican pastor you dearly love is hurting
Watching teams serve with all their heart and might… without complaining… for the glory of the Lord
Seeing the Lord heal people right in front of my eyes
People being SAVED… knowing they were brought from DEATH to LIFE!
Being broken… in the best way
Having to love when I didn’t want to
Learning to give grace when I wanted to give up
Falling more and more in love with my husband…
Seeing God work ALL things out… even through my doubts and fears
Knowing the Lord is ALIVE and His Church is NOT dead
Serving in ways I would prefer not to…
Being reminded constantly of how much the Lord loves us and what LOVE WINS really means
Witnessing a young girl sit at the feet of an elderly man for hours… just listening to his story and proving that he still matters
Learning to view people the way the Lord views them
Having the opportunity to just do Kingdom work each and every day
Learning it has NOTHING to do with me…
Over the next few days/weeks I hope to share some of these specific stories. My life has been impacted greatly by the Lord and by snapshot moments from my experiences. It’s hard to put into words what the Lord is teaching me and molding me into, but I don’t think I can move on until I have processed these things/times… so, as usual, I’ll process right here on this page.
He is a great and mighty God.
He is VICTORIOUS.
He is on the move.
He is ready and willing to answer.
He is able to do immeasurably more.
He is not done with us… with me yet.
I am forever changed and humbled by His work. I will probably have to learn some of the lessons He tried to teach me this summer again… because I am stubborn and calloused. But, for now, I need to chew on them… to let them soak deep… to process it internally and externally.
Thankful for each and every trip, team member, pastor, community, person. Thankful for those of you who support us in doing this work… lives are FOREVER changed because of you.